Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
