Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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