I look better un-naked...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
