Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
