yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
