She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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