nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
