Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
