I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
