We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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