My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
