Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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