i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
