you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
