You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
