I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
