I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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