I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
