I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
