TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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