so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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