Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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