shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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