I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
