so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
