I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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