I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
