if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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