i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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