This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I will die if light touches me.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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