brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
