I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
