I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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