Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
