it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
