You're my little dorito
where does the pee come out of this thing
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
