No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
