just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
