DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We need a shit load of segways right now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
