Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Success! We fucked roommates!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
