Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
