I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
