The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I understand Curling. That high.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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