he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
