high people should be assigned attendants
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
