At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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