I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
