We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
