The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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