I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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