In the future we'll all be gay
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
